Perhaps you are familiar with situations that you ask your spouse to do something like take out the trash or repair something and he doesn’t do it on time and you feel like he doesn’t love you…

Or maybe you love receiving gifts, like flowers but your spouse says that it is wasting of money.. my brother says that..

And the message you got is that other person doesn’t understand your needs, doesn’t care, doesn’t love you..

Or you like to hug your spouse, take the hand, give a kiss// but you spouse doesn’t really like physical contact and is not a very hugging person.. ..

And you feel neglected once again..

Or maybe you love to tell your spouse how much you love her/him but what you hear is :

Honey give me a break.. I heard it today already 53 times.. yes I know you love me.. could you prepare something for dinner please?

Or maybe you love to hear that you are important, precious, awesome, person, that the dinner was delicious, that house is really nice and clean, that the deer sausage from hunting last week is really delicious, that you did very well cleaning yard..

But you never hear these compliments because the other person things that you know that you do everything exceptionally well, because everyone can see it, so why to tell you once again that you are awesome if you already know it…

Or, it may happen too that you love have quality time with your friends or spouse.

Quality time means: without tv on, without Facebook, without drying machine making noise..

Just two of you having some good time. Listening to each other, laughing, being in silence..

But the other side doesn’t like this kind of quality time..

And how you can talk to other person without watching tv or texting somebody , or checking posts on twitter…….

It might happen that you are really and truly love by your spouse, your parents, friends, even by children, but the struggle is that way you need to be loved is different than the way they show love to you..

There is that quite smart fellow, Gary Chapman who came with this brilliant idea that there is basically 5 main ways we fell loved and love others:

Quality time//Acts of service///Physical touch//Words of affirmation///Receiving gifts

The trick is to find out what is my language of love and communicate it to those who really matter for me- spouse, friend,

My love languages are:

Acts of service. I love helping others.

When you need help, please let me know. It kind of tie well with being priest.

Words of affirmation. I really enjoy telling others how good they are, and how much goodness I see in you.

The way I feel loved are:

Men’s Quality time- going for adventure, doing something together, fishing, hunting, kayaking, working on a project.

I m a hugger too- this is why I go outside after every mass- I want shake your hand, give you hug

Questions to help us more with love thing:

How did you parents show you love when you were growing up?

What made you feel the most loved as a child?

There is a high probability that is your primary love language.

When you really want to show someone you care about them, what first comes to your mind to show it?

Your most basic instincts can show your primary love language as well.

 

“People tend to criticize others most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.

 

 

 

 

Words of Affirmation

Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,”

Quality Time

When we are fully focused on another person

Its not a watching tv/reading book/doing cheching facebook

 

Receiving Gifts

 

Affection/ physical touch

A warm hug, a kiss, touch, and sexual intimacy make you feel most loved when this is your love language.

 

Acts of Service

These can be simple acts like putting dishes into dishwasher, taking out trash, making bed, offering help from your heart not because of obligation

 

 

How did you parents show you love growing up?

What made you feel the most loved as a child?

There is a high probability that is your primary love language.

 

When you really want to show someone you care about them, what first comes to your mind to show it?

Your most basic instincts can show your primary love language as well.

 

 

“People tend to criticize others most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quality Time

In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.

 

Acts of Service

Can helping with homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. When others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel truly valued and loved.

 

Physical Touch

A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.

 

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important— hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.

 

Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to you of someone else’s love and affection for you.